The Kids Are Gone… Now What? 3 Steps to Rejuvenate Your Relationship!

Having your kids move out or head off to college can either mean the slow death of a relationship or the sweet liberation of fulfilling mo...

Having your kids move out or head off to college can either mean the slow death of a relationship or the sweet liberation of fulfilling more of your life’s dreams together.

I hear it so often with couples, “We don’t do anything together anymore….”
How does this even happen?

For some, it happens when we have followed our dreams, built our careers, driven more times than we can count to soccer fields, swim meets and music lessons. It happens when we parent our children before putting our own needs first. It happens when we care for family matters and sick parents. It simply happens because life can be busy and hectic and all around crazy paced at times.

Then something magical happens that we are not so prepared for.

The kids grow up and the pace of life slows down. We have more time to ourselves, more time for our relationship. This can be the time a relationship comes to a fork in the road…

Do we use this as an opportunity to infuse the relationship with some new energy, some new magic?
Or do we attempt to carry on like nothing has happened?

Jump in and create something new because if you are being real, something has happened and you are called to step up.

When your children have launched, even into their own driver’s license, you’ve gathered all the promotions you need, no need for more stuff and the house is running smooth, it can be a time for the “now what”phase?
It is the phase of recreation of yourself or your relationship. It is time to gather more experiences. Shared experiences are the juice and the magic of loving relationships. For those who choose to live in the conscious moment of NOW, only in the present as a practice, experiences becomes all we have.

Three Tips to Rejuvenate and Gather New Experiences:

1. Spend an evening with your partner and each come up with some new ideas for adventure!

This doesn’t have to be scaling the Great Wall of China, while fun, it can be something much simpler. How about walks together? Taking a class together? Learning something new together.

2. As human beings were are biologically and spiritually wired for connection.

Make a commitment to eat meals together, reconnect at the end of the day to share feelings and moments of the day. Take time to check in with one another throughout the day.

3. Do you make a good girlfriend of boyfriend?

I meet an awful lot of wonderful wives and husbands. They have deep levels of commitment for their families and have the ability to put their families first at all cost. Sometimes the single focus on the family can be the ‘death’of the romance in a relationship.

Tongue in check of course, but makes a clear point, I ask, “What kind of girlfriend of boyfriend are you?” This creates a perspective that can demonstrate the need for more romance. In fact ask yourself, “what have I done lately for my partner that shows them I am crazy in love and interested in them?”
That if I were given the opportunity I would ask them out again for the first time like I did all those years ago?

Give this some thought and create and act from this place. This is the single most important concept in mind to keep the romance and newness alive in a relationship.

The crossroads of having children move out or move on with their own lives can simply be the moment when we realize what creatures of habit we have become. It can signal the time to get in an bust up some patterns and habits.

Take some out of your day and notice all the different patterns that you and your partner have implemented. While we are creatures of habit we do have the ability to make changes. Spend time together and create something new, something that each of you can look forward to. Give yourselves permission to create opportunities for growth and experience. The spice of a long term relationship is the experiences that are shared together and remembered. digitalromanceinc.com

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