DEAR Docta: I am an 18-year-old girl. I have been dating my boyfriend for nearly two years. My boyfriend means everything to me. Although I ...
DEAR Docta: I am an 18-year-old girl. I have been dating my boyfriend for nearly two years. My boyfriend means everything to me. Although I have made mistakes we would talk and fix things, and everything would be OK.
Last year we both went to university in different parts of the country, so it was like we were having a long-distance relationship. I was OK with it until I met another guy who gave me everything I have been missing. We were not really dating but I had sex with him many times.
Earlier this week my boyfriend found out and broke up with me. It was only after he was gone that I realized he has always been and always will be my everything. I still love him.
I want him back, but he doesn't want to hear from me.
Please help me, Amy. -- M
DEAR M: Perhaps you've studied the famous "marshmallow test" in college. In this study, preschoolers were presented with a choice -- they could eat one marshmallow now or eat two marshmallows if they waited 20 minutes. (If you aren't aware of this study, there is some wonderful video on YouTube of children suffering through it.)
This fascinating study demonstrates the relative ability of people to delay gratification in order to receive a larger reward later.
You have flunked the "marshmallow test" -- big time. You were not willing to hold out long enough to receive a larger reward (staying in a loving, long-term relationship) later.
Last year we both went to university in different parts of the country, so it was like we were having a long-distance relationship. I was OK with it until I met another guy who gave me everything I have been missing. We were not really dating but I had sex with him many times.
Earlier this week my boyfriend found out and broke up with me. It was only after he was gone that I realized he has always been and always will be my everything. I still love him.
I want him back, but he doesn't want to hear from me.
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| Dumped cheating girlfriend wants boyfriend back |
DEAR M: Perhaps you've studied the famous "marshmallow test" in college. In this study, preschoolers were presented with a choice -- they could eat one marshmallow now or eat two marshmallows if they waited 20 minutes. (If you aren't aware of this study, there is some wonderful video on YouTube of children suffering through it.)
This fascinating study demonstrates the relative ability of people to delay gratification in order to receive a larger reward later.
You have flunked the "marshmallow test" -- big time. You were not willing to hold out long enough to receive a larger reward (staying in a loving, long-term relationship) later.
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