The researchers had 102 heterosexual strangers take a questionnaire that helped categorize their flirting styles. Then the participants inte...
The researchers had 102 heterosexual strangers take a questionnaire that helped categorize their flirting styles. Then the participants interacted in pairs for 10 to 12 minutes, prompted by cards that egged on conversation with questions like, “What accomplishment are you most proud of?”
The study authors captured their flirting on video, and when they reviewed the footage, they saw some distinct differences. They split flirting into the following five groups: physical, traditional, sincere, playful, and polite, and published the results in Journal of Nonverbal Behavior
“One of the important things to keep in mind is that flirting is an outgrowth of your feeling toward another person—something you can't easily hinder. When you're expressing yourself with someone you might like, nonverbal and verbal behaviors begin to reflect attraction, with a coy smile here and a laugh and a tease there, to clarify how you feel about a person," says Jeffrey Hall, study author and associate professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas, in a release. Here’s how each of the different styles is defined so you can pinpoint what signals you’re sending and receiving.
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“One of the important things to keep in mind is that flirting is an outgrowth of your feeling toward another person—something you can't easily hinder. When you're expressing yourself with someone you might like, nonverbal and verbal behaviors begin to reflect attraction, with a coy smile here and a laugh and a tease there, to clarify how you feel about a person," says Jeffrey Hall, study author and associate professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas, in a release. Here’s how each of the different styles is defined so you can pinpoint what signals you’re sending and receiving.
- Physical: This style’s all about body language, like nodding while smiling and doing something known as “palming,” which is showing your hands and wrists when you talk. What’s interesting is that many physical flirts in this study seemed to act in a counterintuitive way. Physical flirts, especially men, gave fewer compliments and glanced flirtatiously less frequently than other kinds. The researchers think it might because this isn’t how physical flirts would normally find partners—if you’re a physical flirt, you’re all about nonverbal flirting at bars and clubs and less likely to use friendship as a segue into something more.
- Traditional: People in this category believe men should make the first move. Women who were traditional flirts did a lot of palming, which an earlier study interpreted as “signaling invitation for courtship.” Traditional female flirts are also more likely to tease in the beginning of a chat with someone intriguing. Male traditional flirts leaned closer to their partners, and their voices were even higher-pitched in the first half of the interaction. They also crossed and uncrossed their legs a lot, which opened up their posture.
- Sincere: Those who are sincere flirts try to create an emotional connection by showing interest in the person they’ve got their eye on. If you’re a sincere flirt and you’re into a guy, it’s highly likely you’re sending some coy gazes his way to signal your attraction. Sincere female flirts smile and laugh a ton, and sincere guys lean in like the traditional ones, but they cross both their arms and legs often during conversation.
- Playful: Flirts just wanna have fun, right? This is what study authors call a “self-esteem-enhancing style of flirting,” that people might use “as a means to attain personal, nonrelational goals,” a.k.a. not necessarily for romantic reasons. Playful men and women were both more complimentary than other styles, especially the men. In a move straight out of the animal kingdom, guys puffed out their chests. The women went from coy (lots of shrugging and acting a bit withdrawn) in the beginning to ramping up the flirtatious glances halfway through the interaction.
- Polite: “They prize manners, nonsexual communication, and less forward behaviors,” says the study. Polite flirts kept a respectful distance from each other, and even increased that distance during the 4- to 6-minute segment. Polite flirts can come across as distant because because they don’t go for obvious flirting behaviors, but it just means they’re trying to play by the rules.
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