I currently live in the UK and I am married to the most loving guy though all is not perfect at the moment but the dilemma now is that I am ...
I currently live in the UK and I am married to the most loving guy though all is not perfect at the moment but the dilemma now is that I am stuck between my mother, myself, my husband and our four months old baby and I really think I have made a very serious mistake courtesy of mother and all her advice.
I have known my husband for close to 12 years and of which have been married now for 2yrs. Unknowingly to my husband I had a baby for my secondary school love just after I finish my SS3 exams in Nigeria, and with the help of my mother we were able hide this from everyone apart from my immediate family because my then boyfriend denied the pregnancy and my mother did not want word to get out the her most precious teenage child has become pregnant.
To cut the long story short, I gave birth to my first baby girl in a very small town in one of my mothers numerous friend's village, and my mother flew me abroad shortly after, and my baby was given to an Orphanage home near Port Harcourt run by again one of my mother numerous friends.
My baby girl Uju who is almost 13yrs old was brought up at the orphanage until she was six years old, then my mother who had moved to Lagos return to PH, and adopted my little girl and even till today my little girl doesn't know her mother she think my mother is the God sent woman who rescued her from the Orphanage and she is a good girl, she lives with my mum in PH as my junior sister and she calls me her elder sister.
I forgot to add that a childhood history is very similar to this, through my childhood I think my mum had at least four husband or live in partners, I have four siblings and only the two eldest are apparently from the same father, and all our fathers abandoned us and do not want any thing to do with us even to this day after establishing contacts with them when we grew into adults.
I only knew mine two years ago and I have made contacts but my real father is not interested at all, even to meet me or talk on the phone talkless of my mum, but my mum said that he has always been a bad man and that it is because she loved all of us that made her bring us up all alone by herself when all the men in her life left for dead.
In my early childhood I also was sent to the orphanage till about the age of four years before I was brought to a new house with my mum and siblings and we were calling my mum "aunty" because she had told her current boyfriend that we were her own younger siblings and she had lost her own parents and was charged with the responsibility of looking after all five of her younger brothers and sisters (three girls and two boys).
Things became ok for a while until my mum's boyfriend found out and accused her of infidelity, my mother's boyfriend who we used to call uncle threw all of us in the street in the full glare and jeers of the whole neighborhood, that day remains one of the most embarrassing days of life till date.
The funny thing is that I have sat down and looked at my mother's life and I do not want to have that kind of life, today my mother can be said to be very comfortable but I do not think she is very happy, I think she is very lonely and unhappy though knowing my mum she will never admit, and out of all my mother's children I am the only that seems to be doing ok, and this is mainly because of my husband, he has always been there for me from when I arrived in the UK every other person including my siblings agrees except my mum and she has always been trying to cause trouble between myself and my husband saying he is not good for me and that he is using me even after having a baby for him who is just four months old now, my mum is indirectly telling me to leave my husband of two years that my daughter and I will be better off without him and that I will have grave consequences in the future if I do not leave him on time that I will always find someone else that will love me more.
I know my husband very well and I think he will never forgive me nor will he forget because I cheated on him before while we were still dating and confessed and he made me swear that I was not hiding things and he forgave me.
He loves our baby girl so much that I am afraid the truth will deprive this young baby the enviable love of her father when the truth comes out, just like I myself lost out on my fathers affection due actions of my mother and I do not want this to continue to my daughter.
Please what should I do, should I tell my husband that the little girl that I told him was my younger sister in Nigeria is my daughter or should I keep mute, please don't forget the first daughter does not yet know that I am her real mother.
I have known my husband for close to 12 years and of which have been married now for 2yrs. Unknowingly to my husband I had a baby for my secondary school love just after I finish my SS3 exams in Nigeria, and with the help of my mother we were able hide this from everyone apart from my immediate family because my then boyfriend denied the pregnancy and my mother did not want word to get out the her most precious teenage child has become pregnant.
To cut the long story short, I gave birth to my first baby girl in a very small town in one of my mothers numerous friend's village, and my mother flew me abroad shortly after, and my baby was given to an Orphanage home near Port Harcourt run by again one of my mother numerous friends.
My baby girl Uju who is almost 13yrs old was brought up at the orphanage until she was six years old, then my mother who had moved to Lagos return to PH, and adopted my little girl and even till today my little girl doesn't know her mother she think my mother is the God sent woman who rescued her from the Orphanage and she is a good girl, she lives with my mum in PH as my junior sister and she calls me her elder sister.
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| I currently live in the UK and I am married to the most loving guy though all is not perfect at the moment but the dilemma now is that I am stuck between my mother, myself, my husband and our four months old baby and I really think I have made a very serious mistake courtesy of mother and all her advice. |
I only knew mine two years ago and I have made contacts but my real father is not interested at all, even to meet me or talk on the phone talkless of my mum, but my mum said that he has always been a bad man and that it is because she loved all of us that made her bring us up all alone by herself when all the men in her life left for dead.
In my early childhood I also was sent to the orphanage till about the age of four years before I was brought to a new house with my mum and siblings and we were calling my mum "aunty" because she had told her current boyfriend that we were her own younger siblings and she had lost her own parents and was charged with the responsibility of looking after all five of her younger brothers and sisters (three girls and two boys).
Things became ok for a while until my mum's boyfriend found out and accused her of infidelity, my mother's boyfriend who we used to call uncle threw all of us in the street in the full glare and jeers of the whole neighborhood, that day remains one of the most embarrassing days of life till date.
The funny thing is that I have sat down and looked at my mother's life and I do not want to have that kind of life, today my mother can be said to be very comfortable but I do not think she is very happy, I think she is very lonely and unhappy though knowing my mum she will never admit, and out of all my mother's children I am the only that seems to be doing ok, and this is mainly because of my husband, he has always been there for me from when I arrived in the UK every other person including my siblings agrees except my mum and she has always been trying to cause trouble between myself and my husband saying he is not good for me and that he is using me even after having a baby for him who is just four months old now, my mum is indirectly telling me to leave my husband of two years that my daughter and I will be better off without him and that I will have grave consequences in the future if I do not leave him on time that I will always find someone else that will love me more.
I know my husband very well and I think he will never forgive me nor will he forget because I cheated on him before while we were still dating and confessed and he made me swear that I was not hiding things and he forgave me.
He loves our baby girl so much that I am afraid the truth will deprive this young baby the enviable love of her father when the truth comes out, just like I myself lost out on my fathers affection due actions of my mother and I do not want this to continue to my daughter.
Please what should I do, should I tell my husband that the little girl that I told him was my younger sister in Nigeria is my daughter or should I keep mute, please don't forget the first daughter does not yet know that I am her real mother.
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