A woman told me this week she's -- "fighting with my husband constantly." "Is that normal?" she asked. Yes and no I ...
A woman told me this week she's -- "fighting with my husband constantly." "Is that normal?" she asked. Yes and no I told her.
Disagreements in a relationship are normal. We all disagree with our partner from time to time. And if both partners are expressing their true thoughts and feelings, there's bound to be some disagreement. That's normal.
Unfortunately, some couples disagree a whole lot more than others. Even when disagreements turn into arguments it doesn't have to be bad. It's when disagreements turn into fights that it becomes a problem. And it's a big problem if you say, "I'm fighting with my husband constantly."
The woman above, Kate, and her husband, Rick, met with me for marriage counseling this week. I saw them fight about everything in their lives except for 1 thing, work. Everything else (kids, parenting, money, respect, sex, house, ex's) was a fight to the death over who was right and who was wrong. Is it any wonder they're both miserable in their marriage and, using their own words, both say they have a "severe and intense dislike for each other"?
Fighting with your husband will destroy your marriage. The same is true for husbands fighting with their wives. Learning how to stop fights and keep them as disagreements, and at the most arguments, is crucial for a healthy relationship.
Take a look at the below Google+ post I wrote about relationship arguments. Click the Read More button after the first 2 lines to read the full post.
Here's a very important point from the post: The key to a good relationship is not avoiding arguments, but how you deal with them. Healthy, successful relationships and marriages don't avoid conflict, and the disagreements and arguments that come with it. But the partners in them know how to disagree and work through it without letting the conflict escalate to a fight and turn into verbal abuse. In the rare instances when it does reach fight level, both partners recognize that and do something to reduce the conflict.
Another important point from the post: You win relationship arguments when you're mature enough to choose the relationship over being right. A fear for many partners is that if they do this it will mean they'll always be wrong and their partner will always be right. This fear is an obstacle for Rick. He fears if he doesn't fight his wife (on everything) he'll always be wrong. This is actually not true.
Here's the secret Rick is missing -- When you practice this you'll find you have less and less arguments, and when you do, your partner will probably choose the relationship over being right too. Win-win.
I've seen many wives fight with their husbands for the same reason, needing to always be right (or more accurately, never be wrong). So it's important to note that either sex, male or female, husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend can do this. See how this can easily become emotional abuse.
Fighting between husbands and wives can occur for more reasons than just needing to be right. But the psychological causes for this aren't as important as just recognizing how destructive fighting is for the relationship. If we all can hold on to the truth than 'immature' people choose being right even at the cost of the relationship, while 'mature' people will be wrong if necessary in order to keep the relationship.
Which are you going to choose? Will you choose to be 'mature' or 'immature' in your next argument? Fighting with your husband constantly is unhealthy and will destroy your marriage. The same goes for you husbands fighting with your wives.
Disagreements in a relationship are normal. We all disagree with our partner from time to time. And if both partners are expressing their true thoughts and feelings, there's bound to be some disagreement. That's normal.
Unfortunately, some couples disagree a whole lot more than others. Even when disagreements turn into arguments it doesn't have to be bad. It's when disagreements turn into fights that it becomes a problem. And it's a big problem if you say, "I'm fighting with my husband constantly."
 |
| I'm Fighting With My Husband Constantly |
Fighting with your husband will destroy your marriage. The same is true for husbands fighting with their wives. Learning how to stop fights and keep them as disagreements, and at the most arguments, is crucial for a healthy relationship.
Take a look at the below Google+ post I wrote about relationship arguments. Click the Read More button after the first 2 lines to read the full post.
Here's a very important point from the post: The key to a good relationship is not avoiding arguments, but how you deal with them. Healthy, successful relationships and marriages don't avoid conflict, and the disagreements and arguments that come with it. But the partners in them know how to disagree and work through it without letting the conflict escalate to a fight and turn into verbal abuse. In the rare instances when it does reach fight level, both partners recognize that and do something to reduce the conflict.
Another important point from the post: You win relationship arguments when you're mature enough to choose the relationship over being right. A fear for many partners is that if they do this it will mean they'll always be wrong and their partner will always be right. This fear is an obstacle for Rick. He fears if he doesn't fight his wife (on everything) he'll always be wrong. This is actually not true.
Here's the secret Rick is missing -- When you practice this you'll find you have less and less arguments, and when you do, your partner will probably choose the relationship over being right too. Win-win.
I've seen many wives fight with their husbands for the same reason, needing to always be right (or more accurately, never be wrong). So it's important to note that either sex, male or female, husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend can do this. See how this can easily become emotional abuse.
Fighting between husbands and wives can occur for more reasons than just needing to be right. But the psychological causes for this aren't as important as just recognizing how destructive fighting is for the relationship. If we all can hold on to the truth than 'immature' people choose being right even at the cost of the relationship, while 'mature' people will be wrong if necessary in order to keep the relationship.
Which are you going to choose? Will you choose to be 'mature' or 'immature' in your next argument? Fighting with your husband constantly is unhealthy and will destroy your marriage. The same goes for you husbands fighting with your wives.
- Advertisement -
- Advertisement -
The information is provided by PaHarare Exptreme using online sources and while we endeavour to keep the information up to date and correct, we make no representations or warranties of any kind, express or implied, about the completeness, accuracy, reliability, suitability or availability with respect to the website or the information, products, services, or related graphics contained on the website for any purpose.
Any reliance you place on such information is therefore strictly at your own risk.
- Advertisement -
